My psychedelic truffle experience in Amsterdam

Foreword: In 2019, while working at Facebook, I had the chance to go on a business trip to London. It was my first time in Europe, and it happened to fall around my birthday, so I added solo trips to Edinburgh and Amsterdam as a birthday gift to myself. More importantly, I really wanted to try psychedelic mushrooms! I thought they’d help me find the meaning of life and become a better human being.

This post is an email I wrote to my English coach Deb at the time. She encouraged me to write to her every day to practice my English writing, and she would always reply! Although this exchange only lasted a few dozen days before my enthusiasm faded, it was a wonderful experience that helped me discover I enjoyed writing, and it laid the foundation for this blog. Pretty number syndrome was written during that time. Thanks to Deb, I have a detailed account of my psychedelic truffle experience. The following is the original email with some added details and comments.

Hi Deb,

Sorry for the late email, I had a piece on Edinburgh but its only half done so I did not send it. On a more relevant note, I decided to share with you my first psychedelic trip that I had yesterday! Yes I tried those truffles!

My first psychedelic trip

I first read about Psychedelic in the earlier chapters of Waking Up by Sam Harris. In it, he recommended everyone to try it at least once because it can really be a profound experience. Since then, I have been very curious about it.

Even though most of the psychedelic drugs are illegal worldwide under the UN conventions, there are many researches that show that psychedelic drugs are non-addictive and have no long term harm on mental health. In the contrary, it has the potential to treat depression. However, I’m a risk averse guy and I don’t want to participate in any illegal activities, apart from occasionally downloading stuffs.

During one of my 1:1s with my mentor at Facebook, I mentioned I was going to Amsterdam. The first reaction was “Are you going to try Mushrooms?” I looked into it and found out that there’s a kind of psychedelic drug called magic truffles that’s legal in Amsterdam!

The main difference between psychedelic truffles and psychedelic mushrooms is how they grow: mushrooms are the fruiting body that grows above ground, while truffles are underground fungal masses called sclerotia. Supposedly, truffles are only about 1/3 as potent as mushrooms. After several high-profile suicide incidents, the Netherlands banned psychedelic mushrooms in 2008. But because truffles are classified differently (one is a “truffle,” the other a “mushroom”), they remain legal to this day. You can find them everywhere on the streets.

Fast forward to yesterday, I just had my first psychedelic trip in life. It was truly a profound experience, just like people said it would be. I went in with extremely high expectations, but I was not disappointed!

It all started with a visit to the Azarius Smart Shop located in the center of Amsterdam. It was very easy to find. To my surprise, the truffle “menu” was right in front of the counter.

The staff was extremely friendly just as described by the reddit recommendations I read online. They recommended for the first time, I should try the Mexicana or Tampanensis which is listed as 1-2 star potency. Such a rare opportunity, I originally wanted to go straight for the 3-star Atlantis. But after much deliberation, I ultimately went with the 2-star Tampanensis, the right balance of being adventurous and risk-averse. Plus, it was described as the “OG Philosopher’s Stone” that helps you think more clearly and gain greater awareness. Exactly what I wanted!

The psychedelic truffle menu at Azarius

The staff repeatedly emphasized that the Set (current mental and physical state) and the Setting (physical and social environment) will be very important. I decided to do it at Vondelpark, which is a huge park located west of the city, again, based on reddit recommendations.

After buying some juice and chips from the supermarket, I found a spot in the park.

Empty stomach. Check.
Sugar beverage just in case I enter a bad trip and want to alleviate the effects. Check.
Set (mindset). Check I guess.
Setting (environment). The weather was really bad and the park is dark and unfamiliar. But I’m 50 minutes walking distance from my hostel, and I was too lazy to find another spot. Plus I have my rain coat and umbrella with me. Fuck it. Check.

Tampanensis in my backpack, looking like marinated beans

After spending a good amount of time tearing the plastic wrapping of the truffles, I finally ate them, at 2:15pm. It tasted like edamame with some sour wasabi. I gave it a good chew before swallowing, as suggested on the instructions.

Vondelpark on a gloomy, slightly eerie day

I wandered around the park for a good 30 minutes with no effects. I began doubting the effects. Maybe I have a strong toleration? Maybe it just doesn’t work on me? That would be super disappointing.

It started raining very heavily and just in case, I decided to relocate to a cafe that has shelter. I quickly found one in the park, but the guy sweeping leaves near the cafe made me uncomfortable, and it didn’t seem like he was going away soon.

Thats when I started feeling a little tipsy. I might have had a weird expression on my face. The grasses in my vision started to become lively, as if they were vibrantly swaying and dancing.

I also didn’t want to scare off the waitress. So I made a decision to head back to my hostel.

It probably was the most stupid and amazing idea I had, on hindsight. That started the longest 1 hour walk in my life.

Walking on the streets, everyone’s facial expression were enlarged. Even though it was pouring and not everyone was radiating positive energy, I just kept noticing more details in everything I see. So many different colors in my vision. I sense strongly the hunger in my stomach. I smell the perfume scent from the fashion stores I cross by. I see a group of girls traveling together, laughing so vividly.

I felt like an alien living in my head and my body is moving by itself.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, everything so vivid and beautiful. I took out my phone and started taking photos of everything to savor later.

While waiting to cross the street, there was a woman on a bicycle in front of me. The wind was blowing through her red hair, so vivid, and it felt like slow motion. It was like that scene in movies where the protagonist sees the love interest for the first time.

I suddenly noticed over 20 blue things in front of me. The jeans, scarves, license plates, bicycles, distant windows. What a coincidence. Over 20 blue things! A miracle!

How many blue things can you count in this photo?

I passed through a square with hundreds of pigeons squirming around. People were playing with them, some pigeons perched on people’s hands. It looked so unreal. Am I dreaming?

The Setting was really pretty bad. It was pouring. The streets were crowded with tourists. But I still felt happy and peaceful.

Just like the books say: happiness is always there within you. You just have to find it.

I have walked the same route a few times during my first night at Amsterdam. But an 8 minute walk seemed like it took 30 minutes. Focusing on every step, every face, every store, every breath. To elaborate this, when I’m watching a movie, time goes by really fast but during meditation, every minute seemed very long. The experience felt like 10 times of that.

It seemed like I have been walking forever, streets after streets, every street seemed like a new adventure but when I look at my Google Map, I couldn’t believe my eyes - there’s still 42 minutes left! I thought I had walked 8 minutes!

I powered through the rest of the journey, tried to act as normal as I can, following other pedestrians to stay safe.

The same ferry I took to the hostel which took 3 minutes normally, felt like it took 15 minutes.

I finally got back to my hostel. My room had two bunk beds, four beds total.

At the time, I was aggressively pursuing FIRE and was extremely frugal. The hostel was under 30 euros a night, though the people sharing the room were a mixed bag. Four people to a room, you had to keep a close eye on your belongings, and sleeping well was hard.

One of my roommate was there watching YouTube on his bed. I had some small talk with him where he said he went to watch a movie. But I didn’t bother to carry on the conversation, I just went on my bed, took off my jacket, and started getting the reward of getting back - my potato chips.

Oh my god, these are the best potato chips I have in my life. They were so crunchy that every bite gave me thrills. I put the chip slowly into my mouth with my right hand, and after the first bite, my left hand just tightened into a victory fist and it puts a huge smile on my face. Licking the chip residue on my teeth was also very fun, so much texture. I could lick the residue off the same tooth for minutes.

There’s so much detail in every chip. There’s so much detail in life.

Thank me for preparing the pack of chips for me. Thank me for getting back to the hostel safely. Thank me for planning this trip.

I’m not a grateful person but at that point I was very grateful about everything.

I put on my earphones and listened to my favorite band Covet. Every song sounded so different. I can hear every detail in the song that I missed. The song seems to be playing in slow motion. A 7 minute song seemed like a 30 minute concert. Some songs that were not in my top 10 sounded so good after noticing the hidden details.

I put another chip in my mouth and had another huge smile. Wow, I’m really having the best time in my life.

Listening to music and eating chips on the bottom bunk

After a few epic concerts with Covet, I took off my headphones so that I can try meditation. Maybe with this profound self, I will become enlightened somehow? Every in breath and out breath felt 15 seconds long. And I—

My new hostel roommates got in and made a lot of unpleasant noises that annoyed me a lot. I had my eye mask on and didn’t bother to say hi as I’m probably not in the best state to have a conversation with a stranger. The sounds were loud and unpleasant but I tried to calm myself down. Be logical, this guy was probably just unpacking and calling his friends. Assume good intention. It got much better and I started to listen to myself again.

I wanted to use this opportunity to find my purpose in life or my values. The cool values that I didn’t know I cared, which can potentially help me power through life confidently and make me a better person. However, even with the new superpower I gained, I had no idea. I kept asking myself “what is the meaning of life?” but my mind was completely blank. No divine response, no earth-shattering revelation. I guess if I didn’t know, I didn’t know.

At around 6:15pm, the abnormal state started to wear off. I know clearly that the trip is over and I drank my fruit juice mixed with apple and ginger. It was very powerful and I felt very healthy.

After the effects wore off, I was filled with a sense of calm. I even went downstairs and sat in the common area. No discomfort or fatigue at all.

That’s the most surreal 3 hours and 30 minutes in my life. I am sitting here after breakfast thinking about my experience yesterday. Was it addictive? I don’t think so. Will I want to try again? Given the chance to do it legally, of course. Was it life changing? I’m not sure yet. But I do appreciate more details after the experience yesterday. We’ll see how long that lasts. I am definitely more excited about life in general. I can see how this treats depression.

Alex

Afterword: I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and with the help of a therapist, I’ve become more aware of the baggage I’ve been carrying: the pursuit of labels and being seen as smart. These days I mostly stay home writing about self-improvement and productivity, while neglecting the side of me that’s endlessly curious about life. After getting married and having a kid, I may never get the chance to experience that kind of carefree solo trip with the same mindset again.

People should try new things more often. That rare experience of eating psychedelic truffles in Amsterdam 6 years ago briefly showed me what it feels like to let go of all the baggage and just be present. Maybe that’s the state I’ve been searching for all along.

Alex Hsu

Indie developer, AI music miner, and aspiring writer.
Documenting my journey of personal growth and the pursuit of simplicity.